Darkplace – Hell Hath Fury

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That’s right, we return to what I now call Re-run-a-ween month with another episode of Darkplace!

We start this episode with the hospital staff waiting in a long line to get their lunch with Liz and her new temp.

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Liz pisses off the chef, and the two many cooks in the kitchen then says that the chicken will take everyone another 5 minutes to be ready. I heard that chicken is difficult to make, but it can’t take this long. It’s not THAT hard. Oh, wait-

This starts to make Liz so mad that she now starts to go Chronicle on the chef and kill him with telekinesis. By knocking him out with a ladle and huge fork with two fingers! Seriously, I have no idea what they are called. It’s that thing that chefs use to stab meat and hold them in place when they’re cutting it. But do you know what else she could have used to kill him with? A SPOON!!!

By the way people, that is going to be made as a movie. Support it now! Jeffery Combs must continue to be in movies!

This brings Dean Learner’s attention and brings both Rick and Sanchez to joke about the chicken and make such horribly fake laughs.

Thornton tells both Sanchez and Rick that they need to do a search on a mystery attacker and figure out who or what killed the chef. Liz is teamed up with Thornton, meaning that Thornton has to act rude behind Liz’ back, literally, as she breaks a light bulb with her Akira powers. But Rick doesn’t believe that him and Sanchez are enough to do their task, so he brings in the temp with them in the basement of the hospital. The trio walks around in the basement, and finds a cordless iron burning Sanchez on the face. Except it isn’t cordless, because there’s a cord carrying the iron.

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Garth Marenghi is Iron Man!

This brings Rick to tell Thornton that someone is using telekinesis that is caused when someone is angry or emotional, which means that we get to see more stuff fly around on strings, and Thornton shooting plates on strings!

Now that Thornton finally figured out that Liz is behind all of this, he tells Jim, one of the employees of the hospital, to tell Rick, who is being chased by file cabinets, that Liz is attacking the hospital. But you know what? Jim is being chased by a stapler. I could show you pictures on the lunacy of these moments, but if I were to do that, then this whole page would be cluttered with nothing but pictures. I’m trying to keep them at a minimum here.

So, Rick gets the call that Liz is using her tele powers against the hospital, Sanchez is surrounded by a bunch of kitchen supplies, and the temp tries to fight back by taking off his shirt and using his tie as a head band! Just remember kids, if you are ever going to be under attack, and you have something that you can wrap around your head, do so and you will magically become as tough as John Rambo!

Rick finally finds Liz as she is floating in mid-air, with her hair raising like Akira.

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Sure, you can say it was creepy looking girl in the movie, but Tetsuo had his hair up like that, so I’m just going to say that Tetsuo is using her body. As a matter in fact, who here wants to see a fight against Tetsuo and Liz in a telekinesis fight against each other? I’m down!

While Liz attacks Rick with a fire extinguisher, John the temp Rambo comes to the rescue! ……..just so he can get stabbed by a bunch of screw drivers and have Rick say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to him for a minute and throw the fire extinguisher at Liz. Well, at least the day is saved, if you would considered an entire hospital where people died to call the day “saved.” Whatever. At least they didn’t wait an entire day to stop the forces of evil, you know, like what the Autobots did in Transformers 3. Man, that last action sequence alone was just awful.

Rick learns that the temp’s name was Clive, and he dies. Rick then cries in the most overly dramatic way possible.

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Garth Marenghi’s attempt to become a Chip’n’Dales dancer.

The episode ends with Sanchez saying that he extracted the telekinetic powers from Liz, and then Thornton makes a joke that makes everyone do the fake laugh, but this time longer.

This episode is a lot of fun, showcasing the fun you can have by seeing the obviously bad special effects being used the right way. I do enjoy seeing comedies that exploit the horror genre and have some great comedy fun with it. This show, like the Sharknado movies, is not trying to make high art, and knows it’s audience. Well, at least Darkplace found it’s audience today. If it didn’t come out until recently, it probably wouldn’t have work today, due to how risky it would have become. Even if it came back today as a continuation, I doubt it will try to be as funny. Believe me, you don’t have to watch season 4 of Arrested Development to understand my point. I went there for one episode, and that was enough for me. I tried to find this show on Hulu, and I couldn’t find it anywhere. I’m glad that I was able to find this show on Youtube, and I do encourage you all to watch it for yourself!

We started off great so far for re-run-a-ween, but sadly, I have to take down another terrible episode from a man who used to try to write great stories. I’m looking at you, Steven Moffat.

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