High School of the Dead – Spring of the Dead

High School of the Dead 3

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, we started this month strong! We had the great and crazy mind of Garth Marenghi for the start of this month, then we had the once great Steven Moffat  show us  Blink, and now we are sinking almost as low as High School USA! in the month of Halloween. High School of the Dead. Both terrible shows that were animated, have an MA rating, and have the same two words in their titles. The only difference is that the title High School USA! makes sense. This show, on the other hand, has a high school in the first two episodes, and that’s it. If you could of think and try harder for a better title, then I wouldn’t have tried to complain about it.

This show is based off of the manga from the author Daisuke Satou, who is the author of another manga called Imperial Guards.

1
This image deserves to be painted as a mural!

I’ve only read the first chapter, and it’s not as provocative as this show that I’m about to review. That manga contains a giant Siberian tiger eating soldiers in a war series! You should check it out.

The other guy who I’m telling you to avoid is Shouji Satou, the artist who is well known for being a hentai artist, aka, porn. His famous masterpiece is FIRE FIRE FIRE.

FIRE FIRE FIRE
This is who we’re dealing with people. You have been warned!

Plus, we even got Tetsuro Araki of all people to direct this anime. What did he direct, you ask?

deathnote_s1v1 tumblr_mtgfqo6pVR1ssfczyo1_1379731633_cover

So, let’s get this straight. We got Daisuke Satou as the author and Tetsuro Araki as the director. Both of these people are very talented at what they do, and a hentai artist did the artwork for High School of the Dead. Let me tell ya, there aren’t enough onions in the world that can help me cry over this subject.

We start off with a foreshadow of the main character, Takashi, monologing about how the world came to an end, and we do see some zombies come in split seconds, and I must say, that was pretty effective. It works, showing how scary this show might be and–oh, we’re interrupted by our main characters of the show. Well, two out of the three in this scene, by the way. They run to the highest point of the rooftop of their high school, and we’re given the first two fan services of the show, with breast physics that is only possible if the second main character of this scene, Rei, goes around without a bra, and a shot with her panties as she falls on the ground after being whacked by her own stick that a zombie grabs. Then Rei almost gets eaten by a zombie before her about-to-die boyfriend helps save her. Okay, there is a confusion that I just noticed in this scene alone with Rei. Right before she almost gets eaten by the zombie, she smacked a zombie without any hesitation. Fine, but when falls on the ground, she still has her spear (yeah, sorry for not clarifying what her weapon is), but can’t move and is terrified for her life. But why? She clearly has the advantage of killing this one zombie.

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“If only I had something to defend myself with!”

Can someone tell me if she is suppose to be a damsel in distress or not? Because it is so obvious that she isn’t! And we haven’t gone 2 minutes into this episode at this point! Takashi looks at the zombies who are coming towards them on the roof, and yells out “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!” That sentence was so loud that it woke up the theme song, which the song itself is great! I just can’t say the same thing about the opening.

And before I go any further, I just want to say that this anime is not as revealing as what Bennett the Sage would normally review for Anime Abandon. If this anime would have been reviewed by him, it would look tamed compared to a majority of the anime that he has reviewed, such as Junk Boy, Mad Bull 34, Apocalypse Zero or Angel Blade. My reason for saying that is because, even though there is a LOT of clevage to be found in High School of the Dead, it shows no nudity at all! My point is that this anime’s portrayal of thin tidy-whiteys and probably no bras is just makes this show too stupid than it already is.

The title shows up, being called Spring of the Dead. In case if you’re wondering, this show’s titles have “of the Dead” in 11/12 of their episodes, from what I can remember, showing how lazy the writing in this anime is. Takeshi sadly stands on a staircase outside one of the school buildings, thinking about the pinky promise that both him and Rei made about getting married, and then breaking it for going out with another guy for reasons that may never be answered. Takeshi is then interrupted by a pink-haired, glasses-wearing, screw-all-breast-physics girl named Takegi, who makes me wonder how in the world she even has any friends in the first place. All she ever does is just nags and talks as if everyone in the world is worthless. That last part at least makes sense, since her parents are filthy rich. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that she is a genius too, making everyone look and feel stupid, hating stupid people. But she leaves, thinking he’s just stupid, and Takeshi sees a zombie in the front gates of the school, trying to get in.

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“Me want go in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory! Me want brain cream!”
  1. How did this zombie get to this school unnoticed?
  2. Where did this zombie come from?
  3. Where are the rest zombies at? Shouldn’t  there be a horde of zombies around that zombie? I refuse to believe that this one zombie got away unnoticed, and nobody did anything about it.

Oh, and even the principal, or a teacher, or somebody in staff–oh, who cares? She even has boobs flopping around and then gets bit. And you know what? Not one of the adults in this scene does a thing about it!
zom

This gets Takeshi freaked out as he storms inside of the school to warn everyone else. Or, he tries to take Rei out of the school and leave everyone else to die. Given how confident the staff are within this situation, I’m sure everyone else would be safe on their own. Rei refuses, as she doesn’t believe him when she says that zombies are eating people, and nobody else believes him either. This makes Takeshi so mad, that he slaps her on the face!

No wonder why she dumped him for the other guy.
No wonder why she dumped him for the other guy.

And that probably got both Rei and her boyfriend to team up with him. I don’t know. We don’t have any explanation as to why they team up with Takeshi. He didn’t even started explaining what happened outside until they started running in the hallways. Takeshi breaks off a broomstick from the broom itself, showing me that the spear that Rei was not using a spear, proving me wrong!

Rei tries to call the police, but everyone in the police department is on hold, and then the voice on the intercom tells everyone not to freak, until he dies. We even  get to see some people who I doubt will even be characters within the rest of the show. Then everyone starts to freak out and rushes out like it’s Black Friday, beating people up, and kicking girls down the stairs, still showing their butts. Rei encounters one of the teachers who became a zombie, and for some reason, when the zombie grabs Rei, the show literally thought it was a good idea to have a second of her crotch, then her butt for three seconds, showing her undies. You have to be so mind-numbingly pedophilic to go that low in animation. But then the show wants to try its best for forgive the audience by having Rei kill the zombie. Yeah, you don’t just make your character do something good after cowardly showing her panties into full detail while being attacked by a zombie. I don’t work like that. But the show remembers that zombies do not die when they get stabbed in the chest, and then we get to see more exposure of her butt and see her boobs bounce like balloons as she falls down for her boyfriend to save her.     …..just so he can be bitten by the zombie.    …..after twisting it’s head like in The Exorcist.

zomb

So, after finally killing the zombie for about 1 1/2 minutes of of trying to kill the zombie and inappropriately showing fan service, they finally go to the roof of the high school, just so they can put an end to this episode. They go on the roof, and sees the rest of their town is in chaos.

zombi
Looks more like a riot, if you ask me.

How in the world do these zombies manage to cause so many fires?! What did they do to create all of those fires? Zombies do not create fire on their own. I would find this believable if they were the zombines from Half-Life 2.

index

Either that, or the Japanese military are just as clumsy as the US military in 1998 Godzilla movie. At least that would have been believable. After all, the zombies in this show moves in a snails pace, which is nothing compared to the fast moving zombies in 28 Days Later, which came out 8 years before this, and was much better in comparison. That, and the way how the infection in that movie spread was more believable than this show, along with other zombie stories that follow this same formula.

So, they see American Black Hawks flying over them,

zombie
This is the only fan service you will ever get from this review. I could of shown you the other examples, but there was just too much to the point that half of this review would show nothing but undies and stupid breast physics!

and they don’t understand why they’re there. Spoilers, some people in the world think the American government are the cause of all of this, and the show never explains how. Takeshi says that this is nothing like in any video game or movie, but they clearly use the same logic and tactics as what we all have seen in video games and movies. Avoid getting bitten, killing them on the heads and no where else on their bodies. You know, not like in any video game or movie.

After going through the foreshadowing from the first 2 minutes of the episode, we get to see Hisashi turn into a zombie, BEFORE ADMITTING THAT IT IS LIKE IN A VIDEO GAME AND A MOVIE!!!!!!!! Hisashi asks Takeshi to kill him before he turns, and he does so, but only if the show allows the delay to be over. This 2 1/2 minute delay contains Rei crying how Hisashi shouldn’t die and that he can’t die, crying over his corps, and playing a song that I swear sounds like a carbon copy of that one scene in 28 Days Later in the mansion, where the zombies come in and eats the 9th Doctor for me!

If you have ever seen this episode before, compare that moment with the song I posted, because I fail to find it. But if you haven’t seen this episode, don’t Avoid it like the plague! This episode is bad. Really, really bad. You want to know something else? It gets worse from here on. But this episode is bad enough. As a main character, Takeshi is terrible. He’s agressive and mean spirited, as well as being physically abusive in this episode, and when he’s not any of that, he’s kind of boring for being the lead action character. Rei’s role in this is both confusing to figure out if she’s a damsel in distress or not, as well as being the show’s biggest fan service.  I remember a couple of years ago in an anime club that I use to go to, we saw this in our first day. I remember one woman said “is that even necessary” when looking at the fan service, and another one on the right of me did a counting game and found over 40 fan services in this episode alone! That should tell you the effort and thought that went into making this show. Yes, I will review and destroy this show with an iron fist later on. As for now, I will no longer go with 5 out of 5s anymore, because this episode has made me want to raise that bar for me.

1/10

Will I review something terrible to conclude this month? Maybe.

 

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